What if Miroku…
by DESPERAD0
Summary: A series of drabbles entertaining countless fandom wonderings. What if Miroku was a prostitute? What if Miroku got piercings? What if! [Implied MirokuxSango, light humor]


_**IMPORTANT NOTE:**_ This is a series of drabbles based on "what if" experiences. Have you ever wondered what it'd be like if… Miroku got a piercing? (yes I am aware that he already has his ears pierced in the anime, but for the sake of fandom, lets pretend he hasn't got them done yet) If Miroku was a prostitute? (that would be hella fun to write) If Miroku was gay in denial?If Miroku was emo? You get the idea. Just random situations that most likely won't make a good fic, but would make a good drabble. The pairing is usually Miroku x Sango (implied) and is humor :D

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**What If Miroku… Got a Piercing? **

"Sango I'm scared!" whined Miroku, his hand gripping hers even tighter. His steps seem to fall back as they got closer to the store. His feet got heavier with each step and he seemed to take an interest at every store window he passed by, slowing the process even more. Girls at the mall were giving the two strange looks and adults were smirking at them.

"Quit causing a scene," muttered Sango, trying her best to cover her face in case anyone from school recognized her. Sometimes Miroku was embarrassing to be around with. She tugged on his arm again and pulled him along to the jewelry store. Today was the day Miroku will get his ears pierced.

"I don't get why **you** have to come along," grumbled Miroku as he entered the store decked with pink. Which wasn't exactly comforting when everyone in the store seemed to be looking at him.

"To make sure you don't chicken out and prove Sandy right," she quipped. A few days ago, Sandy and Miroku were getting in one of their famous arguments about who was the bigger man. Miroku argued that Sandy is much more girly because he was A) Gay and B) His name was a girl's name. Sandy retorted that Miroku couldn't handle any pain at all and being the big mouth Miroku was, he challenged Sandy that he wasn't scared of anything.

Miroku should really be thankful that it's ear piercing and not anywhere else, especially in lower regions.

He was a man, he was quite the man.

"We'll need you to sign this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this **and** initial this column and sign the back," said the teenybopper girl, who had a nose ring, an eyebrow ring and at least 3 piercing on each ear. Gulping, Miroku read the sheet over, which wasn't exactly calming his nerves since the words "not responsible," "not liable" and "infection" kept popping up on the waver. Sloppily, he scribbled his name and handed the paper back.

"Sango," he whispered urgently. Sango didn't hear him and continued to look at the rack of earrings that would look good on Miroku. She laughed as she tried imagining Miroku with ghetto bitch hoops. _Bitchin'!_ "Sango!" he said a bit louder. She still didn't hear him.

Miroku bit the inside of his mouth and frowned. "Sango, girl with brown hair wearing the hot pink turtleneck looking at the _bitchin'!_ hoop earrings, answer me damnit!" Sango whipped her head around and immediately regretted. She could've pretended he was talking to someone else and save herself the embarrassment of the entire store staring.

'Would you like to hold your girlfriend's hand?" asked the teenybopper, smirking.

"She is not my girlfriend."

"I am not her girlfriend." They both answered at the same time.

The girl rolled her eyes and positioned the gun in place. "Ready?"

"No," whimpered Miroku.

Sango rolled her eyes and grabbed Miroku's hand. "Don't be such a baby!"

"I am NOT a ba- OW!" Miroku's scream was heard all around the store, as well as stores 25 meters within radius. Who's the man? Yes, he is still the man.

"Miroku? Miroku! Are you okay? Say something!" Sango said urgently, poking his sides. Miroku opened his mouth and let out a colorful display of vocabulary that should not be repeated.

Several little girls turned around and a little boy asked his mom what "fwuck" meant. This was indeed by far, one of the worst situations that Sango ever got herself into.

The teenybopper looked bored and unimpressed. Before Miroku could protest she quickly shot him in the other ear before he could…

"WHAT THE FUC-"

Miroku was quite the man. Quite, the man.

"Now let's go get that tattoo on your arm…"

Miroku let out a whimper (like a pit-bull getting his assed kicked by a chihuahua) and fainted.


End file.
